Mom Guilt, Money, & Imposter Syndrome

That headline gives me the willys.

However, throw in a dash of anxiety and a splash of social media comparison, and that basically sums up the makings of the weird sack of bones and flesh that I am currently lucky enough to be navigating.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Honest question. If anyone has sorted out how to overcome it, let me know. I just want to be eating chocolates in a field of flowers, but then society throws around things like bills and taxes. Garbage.

Anyway, life has been a tad nutty lately. Lot's of random bills that, of course, can never be like $10 or something like that. It's like the money gods got together and were like "minimum of 1k or we explode the universe!!"

So, that's been aggressive.

My sweet, sweet Arrow baby was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, like his mama. It's a bummer, BUT it's SO much better than what I was worried about (sudden death, cancer, some strange, random disease that my hypochondriac brain came up with...etc). However, that vet bill wasn't cheap. Top that off with having to pay a lawyer cause, shockingly, not all people are as trustworthy and wonderful as I would like them to be, and our year has started off being bougie. You know, without us getting the typical benefits of such bougieness....if that's a word.

All that to say, I haven't started a single seed yet. Que imposter syndrome. What am I even doing??

Trust the process. Follow the dream. Insert motivational quote here.

I actually got myself motivated enough to start some seeds last night, but then realized that I had misplaced my perlite for my soil mix.

Fiddlesticks.

So, after a few choice words and an IPA, I decided to tackle my dahlia tubers instead.

Now, last year I labeled everything in a very particular manner when I planted my tubers. I'm like SO organized don'tcha know.

When I dug them all up last fall, my fancy pants labels were gone lol. So, I have NO idea what any of these buggers are. However, they all look great, so that's something I'm stoked about. I found a new labeling system, so now I can at least plant the different varieties in order, it will just be a wonderful surprise to see what's what this summer.

So, yea... The few things I should have started a few weeks ago may be a little later than I wanted, and I'll have some surprises in my dahlia beds, but it will all be fine. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.

I was sent home early today because Ol' Man Winter has NO chill, so I snagged the perlite and will be starting my seeds. In the words of Bob Marley, "every little thing, is gonna be alright."

That's all I got friends! If you're feeling as weird as I am right now, just know you aren't alone.

Xoxo

Kelsey & Jon